26 PET/CT

I went to take PET/CT and brought my daughter with me. 

At the reception, I was dismayed to learn that a small child like her cannot come near me for 2 hours after the test because of too much radiation exposure. That meant she had to wait for more than 4 hours alone! 

That's ridiculous...nobody told me about it at the clinic, and I regretted that I didn't study what to expect. I didn't even think about radiation at all in the first place...so stupid of me. It is totally against natural treatment.... Later on I learned that the dosage of radiation under PET/CT is 250 times greater than regular X-ray. But it was too late.

When I was all done and came back to the waiting area after about 90 to 120 minutes, I saw my daughter waited patiently, bored by playing her Nintendo DS and reading all the books there. Too bad I could not hug her, but glad she was old enough to know that she had to keep distance from me.

I was told that as long as keeping 1 meter away from each other would be fine, so we went to eat. We were starving! So we sat far apart from each other in a big table and enjoyed lunch for 2 hours. We used the time to plan fun things to do in L.A.

I was very tired that day. Maybe from too much radiation...or from the cappuccino I had for a little treat for myself! .....or both. (Eating out is tricky for my diet in general, especially the salt part.)

25 "I'm sorry, but I decided not to take chemical treatment."

Going back to where I was at my medical situation,

I had to make a decision on a course of treatment, and finally the day came. 

My mom, still mostly on her wheel chair and very weak from her illness made it to accompany me at the appointment.

The breast clinic finally found Herceptin would not suit my cancer type from the series of examinations, and recommended I should start from taking another anti-cancer drug first and then hormone treatment. 

By the time I became clear that I had no intention of going through chemical cure. But I kept my option open for just in case. I wanted to respect what the doctors would offer. 

"So when would you like to start?", said the doctor.

"I'm sorry, but I decided not to take chemical treatment", said I.

"......??"

"I decided to take natural treatment. I do believe in it."

"...I see. If you insist, we cannot force you. In that case please sign here."

Doctor pulled out a piece of paper to prove that they had informed me and offered treatment to me, and I signed.

I finally had the guts to say it! 

I appreciated that this doctor in charge of chemical treatment was not like the others who treated me in mocking tone when I mentioned natural treatment.

And I appreciated that my mom supported my decision.

Only thing I decided to take forward medically was to take PET/CT to see if there was any cancer development in other area.

I said to the doctor that I would not resist to take chemotherapy only if something really crucial found by PET/CT, like metastatic cancer in my brain. 

24. How do you deal with unhappy periods? 3. Deep breathing

It may sound too common, but still the most powerful and fundamental tool is Deep Breathing.

Ultimately, to master deep breathing is the quickest way to be free from it all.

Although there are many kinds of deep breathing, what I mean here is a simple one that you could use anywhere, anytime. I always do while commuting on a crowded train by the way.

Start by breathing out
Usually when you need deep breathing the most, you are either nervous, tense, stressed or anything far from relaxed state, so It must be difficult to breathe (for me at least), as if breathing seems never enough and you feel like choking.

People say, "relax" in the middle of my stressful spot, but how? If it's that easy, then I wouldn't be stressed any more!

That's me. So I start by "breathing out". Breathe out as slowly as possible, and completely. (And hold it for a few seconds if you can.)
Then you got to breathe in. If you try this cycle several times, then "breathe in and out" becomes easy.

Whenever you FEEL the painful feelings, I suggest you do deep breathing. "Letting go" works  so powerfully and feels so relieving with "breathing out".

Eckhart Tolle says, the instant path to "be present" is to focus on breathing. Because to be aware of your breathing and notice the sensation caused by breathing, expansion and contraction of your chest and abdomen could take your attention away from "thinking"

23. How do you deal with unhappy periods? 2. Effective Questions

2. Effective Questions

Here is another great learning from Divine Openings that I would like to share. 

If you feel OK enough, try some of these Effective Questions to see if they raise your spirits.

Concept

We ask questions which open up possibilities and stimulate our mind vs limiting and discouraging to shift our attention to positive/bright side. 

By that, we head to positive/bright side because we are designed to head to where we look at by nature.

How do we do it?

Simply throw questions like below, and smile, and forget about them. (The key it to do everything so lightly without getting attached)

- How can I attract something wonderful, which will make me feel full of life?

- How would it feel to dramatically swing to the bright side?

- Where is the magic switch I can turn on to make the world a brighter place?

- What if this is a major clean-up for me and I can start fresh?

- Where are the people who are waiting for me?

See any difference in your vibration?

Human can only do a little, but US, the unlimited being, the large self, can do the work in the subconscious level. Your subconscious may lead you to the answer while you forget about it.

Just be careful not to ask scary questions like, "Why can't I do it right?", "What if I can' make it?", "How dare...", "How many times..." , those will only make you feel worse.

You might encounter a couple more bumps afterwards, that might discourage you and make you think, “see, things are not getting any better.”

But those could be reflections from the low-vibration stage in the past. Be patient and try to react neutral until the typhoon passes.

22 How do you deal with unhappy periods? ... continued from #1

At this point, you may feel calm enough to realize this is happening for a good reason.

Usually, you cannot think this way when you feel down. But actually you are a step away from a breakthrough to a higher place, only if you allow it!

If you are in that state, you may skip to 2. Effective Question.

Or you may be disappointed to find that nothing has changed yet. You may feel tight knots in your stomach, hate someone and yourself, and the whole world, or you may be too depressed to even speak to anyone.

If so, don't blame yourself for anything. Say, "All feelings are good." and embrace yourself.
Go back and do #1 as much as you want to, as it's normal to take time! Or, totally forget it and do something different if you can, and come back when you are ready.

If you are facing with something you can't have any control of, 
surrender to the universe to sort out for you than you trying to solve on your own,
and just let things happen through you, like you become transparent. And just observe.

Just accept, just be, 
Relax, let go, let it pass. 
There is always an end to everything.

As you get the hang of it, you may love doing this because it really help you let go of grudges  or any residuals of unpleasant memories.

You might want to bear with the feelings until it rises, otherwise it will creep up to haunt you. If you are as impatient as I, you might want to get out from the low vibration sooner, and later on going back there again for more "feeling", which is perfectly fine as long as you know what's going on!

If you feel light and empty, and finally a smile on your face,  you are ready to recharge yourself! Congratulations!

21 How do you deal with unhappy periods? 1. Feel without mind chatter

Being happy all the time seems impossible.

Things happen and sometimes it is unbearable.

So how do we deal with such unhappy periods?

There is nothing that will work like miracle unfortunately!

But we can try to minimize the damage and stop the downward spiral at a moderate depth.

I will share what works best for me, mainly from what I learned from "Divine Openings":

1. FEEL the emotional pain fully without chattering in your mind.

Concept

All the feelings need to be felt in order to rise. In other words, you feel alright once you feel all the feelings (the painful ones in this case).

Usual mind-trap

If you feel a pain, your mind wants to blame it on something, often others or yourself at worst. Once the chatter starts, despite the fact that you try to sort it out logically and act mature, your pain only seems aggravated. 

Then, You either take it out on others and feel worse, or abuse yourself by unhealthy behaviors, or hold it in to manifest as physical or mental illness.

So how do we do exactly?

A) Stop the mind's incessant chatter, such as:
"How could he do that to me?"
"Why did I fail again?"
"It's not my fault, because..."
Because those are good for nothing, and without them, it is so much easier to get over the pain.

Simply imagine to switch off your mind.
(In "Divine Openings", it's stated as "drop the story".)

B) Listen to what your heart is crying for. That is the 5 year-old in you wanted to be heard.

Translate it to start with "I", not "He" or "She".

Put the phrases as simple as, 

"I’m so sad!" 

"I feel neglected!"

"I feel rejected!"

"I wanted to get recognition!"

"I wanted to feel loved!"
Then feel what's unfolding.

And say it’s OK, don't make it wrong, and embrace yourself.

It may surprise you how simple your pain/stress was about so you could let go easily when you drop "the story".

Do you feel a lump in your throat yet? Or do you feel something is released or lifted?
Most of all, do you realize the pain is not there any more, or at least lighter?

Furthermore, here are my favorite quotes which could help in related situation.

"The mind cannot forgive, only YOU can."

Beautifully said by Eckhart Tolle, which always touches my heart whenever I'm angry.

YOU means the large self, the higher self, the real YOU as a being not limited by the body but connected with the whole. It's good to know the angry, depressed, stressful and small you are not the real you! You are more to that.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” 

This famous quote by Einstein reminds me whenever I catch myself trying to "sort out problems" by unhappy mind.

20 Hot and Cold Water Therapy

Looking back, the whole continuum of breast cancer care happened in the ideal timing. I had surgery in the end of April, and rested at home the following week, which is  the most pleasant time of year in Tokyo. Post-sugical care was easy in the season, without stress of too cold or too hot. And Raw food diet is easiest in summer, so I was really lucky.

Speaking of too cold and too hot, one of the natural treatment I really liked and tried almost every day was Hot and Cold Water Therapy by Dr. Schulze's Incurables program. Among his hard-core Hydrotherapies, this was the easiest for me to try on my own. 

According to Dr. Schulze, hot water brings blood flow to the surface of the body, while the cold water drives blood flow to the core of the body, thus by alternating Hot and Cold water brings fresh blood to the organs and glands and all parts of the body. He says, "Increasing the circulation HEALS YOU FASTER." in 20 Powerful Steps.

Prior to visiting his store, I started reading his books online, as his books are available to read for free on his blog site. 

My medical doctor at the breast clinic said I could take a shower from the 2nd day after surgery, and I should start taking a bath after a week. He writes in his book that taking a bath to warm your body, especially up to the shoulders will help blood circulate to cure post-surgical trauma faster.

Although I was scared to do anything to the surgery site, and worried about infection from the wounds, I started trying the Hot and Cold Water Therapy  on the surgery site after taking a bath.  I always liked hot bath and the routine of hot sauna and cold bath, so it was easy for me and felt good to do, although the first few seconds of cold shower was tough, but again, the warm season helped.