I was so thankful that the fund for my surgery arrived from New York, and that a couple of good friends kindly committed to accompany me for clinic visits since none of my family was available, and also that a family friend would take care of my child while I was in hospital. I never felt this supported in my life before. I always felt guilty to ask, and felt I had to give much more in return.
All I had to do was to let go of my fear and to take life's wonderful offers with gratitude, and to give what I purely wanted to in return, but not necessarily to the same person who gave.
I thought I'd already "understood" the concept of unconditional love, but I always put myself on the giving side, but never, to come to think of it, allowed myself on the receiving side. Now after opened up and receiving, I feel like I can give better!
I wore a bright-colored floral-printed shirt on the day of surgery to raise my spirit. I was a bit nervous but more excited to get cancer taken out of me and get brand new breasts by the top surgeon.
I was so lucky to have chosen this clinic, because the doctor turned out to be well known and supposed to be one of the top breast surgeon specialized in both medical and plastic surgery, and most of all, considered best for simultaneous reconstruction. I had no idea!
Finally I was called up for treatment, and said good bye to my friend. After final blood tests, it seemed forever to wait on a bed, starving and thirsty waiting for my turn. I saw a patient with bloody gown loudly walked in, heard another patient talking about the silicon broke in her breast... I was hoping not to become scared. At that point I just wanted to get it done ASAP. After 6-7 hours after arriving at the clinic, I was finally called to the operation room. And into the room I walked in.....
Now, it's show time!