Thursday, June 20, 2013

21 How do you deal with unhappy periods?      1. Feel without mind chatter

Being happy all the time seems impossible.
Things happen and sometimes it is unbearable.

So how do we deal with such unhappy periods?

There is nothing that will work like miracle unfortunately!
But we can try to minimize the damage and stop the downward spiral at a moderate depth.

I will share what works best for me, mainly from what I learned from "Divine Openings":

1. FEEL the emotional pain fully without chattering in your mind.

All the feelings need to be felt in order to rise. In other words, you feel alright once you feel all the feelings (the painful ones in this case).

Usual mind-trap
If you feel a pain, your mind wants to blame it on something, often others or yourself at worst. Once the chatter starts, despite the fact that you try to sort it out logically and act mature, your pain only seems aggravated. 

Then, You either take it out on others and feel worse, or abuse yourself by unhealthy behaviors, or hold it in to manifest as physical or mental illness.

So how do we do exactly?
A) Stop the mind's incessant chatter, such as:
"How could he do that to me?"
"Why did I fail again?"
"It's not my fault, because..."
Because those are good for nothing, and without them, it is so much easier to get over the pain.
Simply imagine to switch off your mind.
(In "Divine Openings", it's stated as "drop the story".)

B) Listen to what your heart is crying for. That is the 5 year-old in you wanted to be heard.
Translate it to start with "I", not "He" or "She".
Put the phrases as simple as, 
"I’m so sad!" 
"I feel neglected!"
"I feel rejected!"
"I wanted to get recognition!"
"I wanted to feel loved!"
Then feel what's unfolding.

And say it’s OK, don't make it wrong, and embrace yourself.
It may surprise you how simple your pain/stress was about so you could let go easily when you drop "the story".

Do you feel a lump in your throat yet? Or do you feel something is released or lifted?
Most of all, do you realize the pain is not there any more, or at least lighter?

Furthermore, here are my favorite quotes which could help in related situation.

"The mind cannot forgive, only YOU can."
Beautifully said by Eckhart Tolle, which always touches my heart whenever I'm angry.
YOU means the large self, the higher self, the real YOU as a being not limited by the body but connected with the whole. It's good to know the angry, depressed, stressful and small you are not the real you! You are more to that.

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” 
This famous quote by Einstein reminds me whenever I catch myself trying to "sort out problems" by unhappy mind.

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